Jerycho and Walls

The Days in the Diocese Theme: Jerycho,Tearing Down the Walls of Division

If you are looking for a well written introspective as I look back on our adventure, skip to another entry.  I'm not a professional writer, and I don't know how to do this.  These are the thoughts of a guy who would rather "talk" to machines, uses logical process as a crutch and consistently writes in bullet lists; becoming quiet adept at that for the past 30+ years.  It keeps my walls in place, people at a distance and any personal vulnerability to a minimum.  I'm safe.

Truthfully, this is my second attempt at writing this.  The 1st pass was actually a set of bullet points, and I spent a portion of the time preparing it trying to keep the reader from being able to identify me as the writer.  I really don't get where society has gone with all this facebooking walls, insta-this-that and snap the other thing. But, after I sent my reflections on to our group leader, I began to reflect why I originally presented my thoughts on this WYD pilgrimage as I did.  Why did I not want anyone to know its me....

Dang this is hard.  The WYD pilgrimage may have concluded, but the journey has not.  For me, this is harder than the physical difficulties we endured.  Reflection, discernment, self assessment; things I don't do well, or more accurately things I avoid.  I feel like I just had the experience of a lifetime with my son, but now I struggle with relating that experience to others. It's like when you've read the best book ever, and the teacher gives you an assignment to write a book report discussing all the thematic elements of each and every subplot. The reality is I'm hiding behind my walls protecting myself.   

I could not begin to relate all the memories; from Sunday dinner with Father G. and his family, to the chapels in the salt mines, to just wanting to hit pause on the experience of two million lit candles on the hillside at the Campus of Mercy during the Saturday Vigil.  Oh, and I have to name drop.  One evening we were in the lower level of the arena that hosted the English speaking center, I was being a bit of a wall flower when Cardinal Dolan walks by me, punches me in the shoulder and says "How's it goin' ?"  How cool is that?   Yes, I've since washed that shoulder.  Beautiful awesome memories and more not listed we will always have.  Another thing, teenagers try so hard to be independent.  I was trying too hard I guess to let my son be just that.  Early on in our time in Wadowice, I hear "Dad, your are being just another pilgrim. Sometimes I need you to be my Dad."  Bitter-sweet message for sure, I can be so thick at times but I heard; and Dad was there when needed later.  Another cherished moment for me.  

Since arriving home, the most common question is: Has it been the trip of a lifetime? Absolutely has been my answer, but then thinking on it, reflecting on it if you will, something was missing.  Missing was my life long partner, my wife.  So the answer is now absolutely with an incompleteness in my heart.    

Being upfront about it, the primary motivation for me making the pilgrimage was to give my son the opportunity to go, he was not old enough to go on his own.  That said, my own faith had stagnated and needed a jolt of resuscitation.  Well, jolt received, in spades. First the people of Poland, a people often invaded in their history, but stubbornly, always rose above, to be open, accepting, friendly, warm and caring people.  How you might ask?  Being there it's clear.  Their Faith.  Secondly, 2 million people predominately youth coming together in the name of Jesus can't help but be inspiring and the power of it overwhelming.  The stagnation of faith I referenced above; it's my belief this power is getting me to reflect, to self assess, and to the sacrament of Reconciliation one evening at the arena.  It's easy to be Catholic when with 2 million+ other Catholics in a country that 95% of its people are Catholic. 

Mass with Icon of Our Lady of Koden, Mother of Unity

So now what?  Right?   Where do I, where do WE go from here????  How to take that jolt, that energy, that shot in the arm and grow our faith back in the real world.  I'm am not sure how many readers spend parts of their days on conference calls.   But those that do, you know when you're on conference calls, you don't always recognize the speakers until after you've attended and listened through 2, 3 or more meetings?  I need to hear the voice of Our Lord more, so when He speaks I recognize Him.  I need to bring down my own walls, to let people in, to be vulnerable and trust in God.

The Polish people have given us a great lesson in solidarity; we need to destroy the walls that separate us and be together as one.

Mike Davis

Essex Junction