You don't know what a million people is like until you're in
the midst of them, and even then, you'll never see them all, but you're
constantly seeing new ones. The chatter of the crowds comes in from every
direction, stretching from horizon to horizon. Nine tenths of the people you
see wear red, yellow, or blue backpacks with the WYD logo. Groups sing, clap,
and shout together; strangers talk with each other like close friends; sometimes
there's hardly room to breathe; and in the midst of it all, you think, 'Why did
I decide to do this?'
As someone who values her alone time and prefers quiet to
chaos, there were times when I felt woefully unprepared for the challenges and
road blocks (sometimes literal) that the events of World Youth Day brought. The
sun beating down, the large crowds all trying to get to the same place as you,
vying for the best spot in front of whatever it is you all want to see; late
nights and early mornings in a gym full of teenagers who leap at the
opportunity to stay up as late as they want and don't care that their laughter
echoes throughout the whole room at eleven o'clock at night, preventing others
from getting to sleep. Locker room showers with limited privacy. An introvert's
nightmare.
I remember watching a video on Youtube, not long ago, of Jim
Caviezel describing his experiences while filming The Passion of the Christ, and his testimony kept coming back to me
during our pilgrimage. His body endured many stresses during filming, including
a dislocated shoulder, an accidental gash during the scourging scene, getting
sick and developing pneumonia, and even being struck by lightning—but he
refused to stop or take a break because he knew Jesus had endured so much more
for him, and he wanted to show that to the millions of people who would
eventually see the movie. During those tough, brutal scenes, all he did was
pray and think, 'Bring it on.'
Mr. Caviezel’s words helped me keep my experiences in
perspective. Yeah, I had to wait in the hot sun in the middle of huge crowds of
people; yeah, I had to stand in overcrowded busses and trains after kilometers
of walking; and yes, I think there was even a point where I wished I hadn't
come on this trip. But my faith and my connection to God was more important
than all that. This pilgrimage was worth being a little uncomfortable, and
honestly, what are my discomforts compared to the pain and suffering that Jesus
endured for us? So, in those moments of stress and discomfort, I prayed, and I
thought, 'Bring it on.'
. . . Perhaps foolishly. I say this as if I've greatly
matured over the course of our pilgrimage and am ready to endure anything and
everything the world throws at me, in the name of Jesus. Unfortunately, I can say
with certainty that I'm not. I'm still afraid, I'm still rather shy, and I
prefer to spend my free time indoors, in a comfy chair, in the midst of as few
people as possible. I'm happiest in my bubble of quiet and convenience (which, ironically,
is something Pope Francis encouraged us to move out of and away from). However,
I will say that I think my experiences at World Youth Day have better prepared
me for any suffering or discomfort that will inevitably come my way. At least I
can weather the storms better, even if I can't avoid them all.
Mr. Caviezel said, "If you want to be a Christian. . .
you're in for it." Now, more than ever, I think that is true. In fact, it's
something we hear frequently in church. The path to God is not an easy one.
But, once you get through that suffering, that discomfort, the rewards on the
other side are so much greater. I walked through the Sanctuary of Saint John
Paul II. I visited the Divine Mercy Chapel and venerated the relics of Saint
Faustina and the Divine Mercy painting of Jesus. I prayed before Our Lady of
Czestochowa. I saw the Pope up close.
“Worth it” is an understatement.
Renate Dubois
Williston, VT
No comments:
Post a Comment